Thursday, December 15, 2005

Straight Crybabies

Mickey Kaus is this longtime blogger who lives in, of all awful places, Santa Monica. A fellow who mistakes reflexive contrariness towards his P.C. liberal neighbors for a virtue, he doesn't want to see Brokeback Mountain because his genes are somehow offended by it. He believes his revulsion to men kissing is genetic, and he shouldn't be criticized for it thus. This passes for enlightenment to him.

Listen ya jerks, I've had to watch straight people lock lips my entire life. It doesn't revolt me, because I'm, ehem, used to it. You need to get used to the fact that, yes, gay people engage in the occasional PDA as well. Watching Mickey bloviate about his pseudo-Darwinian ick factor on this videoblog is what really makes me queasy. He even trots out the old trope of the bathhouse as the gay male archetype.

Maybe I and some other dirty homos should just sit around bullshitting on video about our genetically programmed aversion to watching straight, nebbish, balding, West Side Jewish intellectuals have dissatisfactory marital sex with their shrill, castrating wives.

Don't tell me it's not personal when you say that watching me give my boyfriend a kiss makes you sick. You need to get over yourselves and learn how to take it like a man. By the way, I wonder how Mickey feels about the lesbians making out? Undoubtedly, what I suppose would be his normal hearty straight-guy appoval somehow disproves his homophobia, right? I guess they're the "good" kind of gay.

Bite me , breeders.


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