Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Worst. Gay. Business. Plan. Ever.

As a car nut, who happens to also be a, ehem, left-handed driver, I find the idea of this new British "gay" car leasing service both confusing and, well, offensive.

It's confusing, because what on earth could make a car leasing service gay? Do they only rent Miatas? Are rainbow stickers pre-attached? Hot, greasy mechanics?

I find it offensive because it predisposes that, when it comes to cars, gay people either need or prefer to do business with other gays. I can almost hear the cackling about sissy men who "don't know anything about cars" and just need a little help to change the oil. I change my own oil, bitch.

Of course, as the Miata crack above demonstrates, there are some cars that, for whatever reason, are considered gay. Why the hell is it that people associate Subaru wagons with lesbians? Back when I was in the closet, I once bought a bright yellow Jeep Wrangler. I saw it on the lot, and fell in love with its ragged handsome individuality. I saw a truck that had a nice, square look to it, yellow like a utility vehicle. A friend of mine took one look and cracked about it being a mighty gay car. I remember turning bright red with shame. Even when I didn't want to let people know I was a fag, I still signaled it. Jesus Christ, I even had a Karmann Ghia! I guess that's what the "gay" car leasing service can do; it can be there to offer emotional support when your straight friends call your car queer.

Fuck that. Just give me a Dodge Ram with the Cummins turbodiesel and get the hell out of my way.

That's right, I said Dodge. I ain't touching one of those Ford F250's. Even if they name their diesel engine the Power Stroke, they aren't getting any gay buyers now:

Hit tip to Jalopnik. Photo courtesy of Jesus' General.


Post a Comment

<< Home