Wanker Of The Week

This is what happens when a preacher's kid tries to be a rebel without, you know, actually rebelling against anything. Enter Ryan Dobson, the Gen-X-skateboarding-and-surfing-to-the-max son of that bile-filled, queer-obsessed, latter-day Anthony Comstock, Dr. James Dobson. I mean, Ryan isn't one of those stuffy "church" types. No, he's totally street, giving all the cred to J.C. He has a soul-patch-featuring web site, named Kor, which is apparently hip contemporary slang for "core" (Ryan doesn't let those uptight grammer police tell him what to do!) where he preaches the gospel of the Extreme Sports Jesus:




















But the best part of Ryan's shtick is that he has written a book with the beautifully forthright title Be Intolerant! Here's a sample:

"I'm totally intolerant. Totally, radically intolerant. Some people call me a narrow-minded, Bible-thumping, backward-thinking, fundamentalist white male bigot. In fact, it happens every day."

"I'm intolerant. I'm not ignorant, but I am intolerant. I'm not a racist or a bigot, but I am intolerant. I don't hate people; I disagree with ideas. Make no mistake, I am intolerant. I am intolerant because I love. The world hates me because I love in this way, but I cannot stop. I dare not stop. I serve a Lord who loved enough to be intolerant. No more trying to please the world and please God at the same time. Get your armor on, take up your cross, and come on out to where the adventure beings. Go out and be intolerant--in love."

Yeah, that's just what Jesus was. Intolerant. Actually, you know, he was. He was intolerant of the Pharisees, the religious leaders of his day that were obsessed with petty rules and puffed-up political causes, and who tried to limit grace to the select few whom they considered righteous.

Oh, and they frequently handed their rabbanical positions onto their sons as well.

So let me add Ryan Dobson to my long list of men who could really do with life handing them a good, old-fashioned ass-kicking before they ever open their mouths again. Humility is a bummer, man.

And since he apparently gets called a "narrow-minded, Bible-thumping, backward-thinking, fundamentalist white male bigot" every day (where the hell is this guy hanging out?) I guess today is my turn. Ryan Dobson, you are a bigot. And a cringe-inducingly uncool one at that, soul patch or not.

Dude. Harsh.

P.S. I won't even get into the fact that he used the line "The world hates me because I love in this way, but I cannot stop."
They've got counseling for that kind of thing.