Sunday, March 05, 2006

Crash! What The Fuck!

I'm utterly gobstoppered that this Lifetime Movie Of The Week would win the Oscar. It's total rubbish. If Los Angeles were really as it portrays, I'd be forced to relocate from my home town due to a melodrama-induced rash.

Remember, this is a movie in which a screaming Sandra Bullock, blinded, quite literally, apparently, by hysterical racism, actually Falls Down The Stairs!!! Alexis Carrington couldn't have done it better.

I mean, Munich was almost ruined by just one over-the-top moment (Spielberg's near- pornographic closing shot of the World Trade Center) but this movie was 2 whole hours of being beaten with a wet hose. Compare this to Brokeback Mountain, which took a subject with just as many cliched pitfalls as "Racism in America"(homophobia in America) and delivered its message without a moment of cheap sentimentality or self-pity.

This is what happens when the Academy's Gays and Jews split their votes and the contest is decided by the swinger ballots of a few decidedly goy West-side heterosexuals. Crash. Think of it as the Ralph Nader of the Motion Picture Academy.

Well, Jon Stewart was hilarious. What is up with the interpretive dance numbers?


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