Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Gay? English? How Can You Tell The Difference?

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is a beautiful English* man.

But he seems to be going through what the "ex-gays" like to call a Gender Identity Disorder. On the one hand, he's a roguish randy lad trying to sneak a peek on Scarlett Johannson:

"It was easy work doing the sex scenes, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't," whispered the one-time Bend It Like Beckham bloke...

Reports say Scarlett asked Rhys-Meyers not to cop a gawp at her lady-bazzers but, hey, what's a man to do?

He adds: "She has lovely lips and she's a great kisser. Being able to maul her for 30 seconds, I was able to embrace that side of me and the film became easier."

And yet, it seems that, according to Johansson herself, Rhys-Meyers is, in fact, a raging sissy boy:

Johansson says he’s like a girl — who likes gossip and shoes.

“He’s a fantastic actor, intense, gorgeous and funny,” she said. “But I can say for sure I never had a passionate encounter with him. He’s a really sexy, brooding guy but he’s very gossipy. He likes shoes and it was like having a girlfriend on the set.”

It seems that Mr. Rhys-Meyers is waffling. The whole "that side of me" comment is but a cry for help.

Well then, all my London queers, you have your assignment. You need to get him off the fence and on to our side, pronto. You know how. The recruitment must continue!

In case you need any encouragement as to your chance of success, I have three words:

Magenta. Velour. Blazer.

* I've been informed that Mr. Rhys-Meyers is, in fact, Irish. Although with that name, he's just got to be a Protestant.


Anonymous Wendy said...

Love your blog--read you everyday.

As a long time Jonny fan, I just wanted to point out that he is, in fact, Irish. But I do agree he needs to come out of the closet, stat!

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

his last name isnt rhys meyers but o' keefe, i dont think thats prostestant, but open to correction!

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is Irish but lives in London. And we don't really have catholic and protestant names here, they have become mixed. There are protestants with Irish names like O'Keefe and Catholics with very English surnames.

Take it from me- I'm Irish.

3:10 PM  

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